DR KEVWE'S BLOG

 Our first wedding ceremony in what usually makes up a series of ceremonies for most African marriages, was held at the Federal Marriage Registry in Ikoyi, Lagos, Nigeria, on the 12th of October, 2016 and as you have most likely worked out, it's our 5th anniversary today. Only 5 years? Many of my seniors in the business would say. Yes 5 years and if you ever wondered like myself in the past, how couples managed to stay together for even a few years, then you will realise that for some of us 5 years is a milestone. Let's not talk of the many young marriages that do not see the light of day, despite elaborate wedding ceremonies. In addition to a few pictures of myself and my family, find below 5 golden facts you must know from my marriage experience thus far. If you are yet to take the plunge and still dreaming of meeting Snow white in all her glory, this article might help you. I will also be waiting to hear the opinion of my seniors in this business and others in the comments section.

Engagement Date: July 2016

#1. If your marriage is based on erotic and material attraction alone, I'm sorry to burst your bubble because sooner than later, you MAY be booking appointments with a Divorce Lawyer. I feel that this fact is the most important. That physical beauty can depreciate with age or that things may not always be smooth financially is no news. What next for you, if things do not pan out as you fantasised from the get go? After 2 children, Eri has had her struggles with maintaining the size she was when I met her and so have I. I used to be Medical College 'MR MACHO' at some point and when Eri met me, my 6 packs were still in good shape but an amalgamation of my packs occurred and I am finding it very difficult to break up the 1 pack that dangles beneath my anterior abdominal wall now and what's she going to do about it?  We have also had our moments of financial needs to cater to aspirations and desires but we have managed to keep our heads up through it all thus far and the hustle continues.

Somerset, England/UK: October 2021

#2. If you are the type of person that wants to take every issue to tribunal and never ignores somethings, I am sorry because your marriage may end after battle upon battle. "Why should you talk to me like that, are you mental?" "Why would you dare to forget this special date in my life, you don't love me any more and you must tell me why or you won't leave this house"! Uncle/Aunty, it is a giving that, your spouse will unknowingly talk to you in a way that you don't like at some point. Somebody will forget somebodies parents wedding anniversary or some other special date. If you choose to turn your house into a battle front for these, it's up to you. I'm usually the guilty one with dates and a jokingly verbalised reminder suits me well. Eri blesses me with a piercing frown when I unknowingly talk to her in a way she is unhappy with and I think I do same. This is not to say we have not had our moments but you just can't take everything to the tribunal, otherwise the place will implode. 

Westminster, London,UK: September 2021

#3. If you are the type that needs attention from your partner/spouse 24 hours of 7 days of every week, I wish you the best of luck if you are not able to find a balance with this because you may end up dejected and feeling that your spouse no longer loves you at some point. The reality is that, one thing or the other will temporarily take priority over giving you attention at some point, especially children when they enter the equation. 

Somerset, England/UK: October 2021

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😍

Somerset, England/UK: October 2021

#4. One person cannot always be right! I used to always feel I was right about every thing, so if you are in this boat you were not alone but you can understand the frustration this must have been causing Madam Eri, can't you? Even if you are right 99.9% of the time, there's still going to be that 0.1% when you are likely to be wrong and what if something critical could have been avoided? I got to learn that, it's always good marital practice to listen to your partner's opinion and act accordingly sometimes, without slamming the VETO hammer for  every decision making exercise that pops up!

#5. Finally, it's "FAMILY OVER EVERYTHING"! The first ever author of this popular quote is not at all far from the truth. If you are the type that pleases everyone else except your wife and kids, then sorry is all I can say. Some people might say,"is there really anyone like this?" Some stories will leave your jaw dropped for days unending and it will always remain difficult to understand what drives that thought process. I'll cross the mountains and oceans for my immediate family especially and extended family as much as possible.

A very big thank you to every one who spent some form of energy to wish us all. I say a big Amen to all the prayers and wish you all the same. Please don't forget to drop your thoughts in the comments section below. I'm keen to read about your opinions on the issues raised and many more. Cheers.

Hannah, 26, never thought she'd feel good about her looks and shape—until another person unexpectedly helped her move toward body peace.


I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t completely aware of my body—whether it was my biker shorts fitting too snugly or the look of disgust I thought I saw on someone’s face while I was eating ice cream. My high-school boyfriend said I could lose a few pounds in my stomach. My mom told me I had thunder thighs, even though I had developed an eating disorder just a year earlier.

I know many people can relate to this. The feeling of self-consciousness used to overwhelm me to the point where it strained my relationships with family and friends, and most of all, my love life.

Although I had serious self-confidence issues, it didn’t stop me from dating. But after a heart-wrenching breakup, I fell back into the same pattern of self-hatred and took refuge in solitude. Hiding felt similar to having anorexia because it helped me feel in control. Constantly keeping potential partners at arm’s length was safer that putting my heart and my body on the line.

I supplemented my loneliness by having lots of friends who I didn’t have to worry about being involved with romantically. It took the pressure off being vulnerable. But after graduating college three years ago, when I moved to New York from Alabama, I lost a big core group of my friends and felt lost.

It was then that I thought, what was the worst that could happen if I put myself out there? I was surprised by my small burst of self-confidence, but I didn’t let myself question it. It was when I thought too much that I tended to retreat into my insecurities. Instead, I downloaded Tinder and actually tried communicating with people. I’d downloaded it many times before and used it just as a small confidence booster, always deleting it and wiping the memory again and again.

I met Adrian* in the first few days of using the app. He was charming and confident but not so much so that it was a turnoff. We were both 23 at the time and had things in common. Conversations flowed naturally. Although I hadn’t been involved with anyone for a while, I wasn’t naive to the fact that he wasn’t interested in dating me. He was here solely for hookups. Emotionally, he was completely shut off. Surprisingly, I was fine with that.

Inviting Adrian over for the first time was nerve-racking. I began thinking about all the ways he could reject me, all the things he'd say about my body—or worse, the things he wouldn’t say. I was visibly shaken, nervously sipping the Heineken that Adrian had brought over. Although I felt like I was barely speaking, Adrian smiled, and we talked easily as we normally did. There wasn’t any tension that caused me to overthink things; I felt a sense of acceptance from him. I was comfortable enough to take off my clothes.

When I slept with Adrian for the first time, he told me all the things he liked about my body. He complimented my butt, which I always found to be too big, and my skin that I always hated for being too pasty. He raved about my hair and my lips. With Adrian, I felt exposed but not as afraid. I felt fine. I can confidently say that’s the first time I had felt even just fine.

Although I felt my attitude toward my body changing, my insecurities were still there. When Adrian came over the second time, I tried to keep the lights off, afraid that now he’d see me the way I really looked. I was hoping the darkness could hide me. But when he entered my bedroom, Adrian pulled me back into the light of my living room. “We need to turn the lights on in your bedroom," he said. "I want to see you.”

Over the course of the next year, Adrian and I kept hooking up semi-regularly. Each time was the same: I was being celebrated, and I was able to not think about my body for the first time in my life. It was in those moments when this other person could see me at my most vulnerable yet still accepted me that I started to accept myself.

Adrian and I don’t talk anymore, for reasons that are too complicated to explain; his emotional distance was a large part of it. I do miss being in bed with him, and I miss laughing with him and forgetting that I was naked. But putting the feelings aside, I’m grateful to have met him. I just wish I can say it didn’t take someone else celebrating my body to realize how beautiful I am. I wish I could have come to that conclusion on my own, but it did not.

Since then, I haven't gone back on Tinder looking for another hookup. I’m not perfect; Adrian didn’t cure me of my body image issues. I still have moments when I fall back in the same pattern of negative self-talk. But more often than not, I look in the mirror and I say things to myself with a confidence that’s not fake anymore. It's real and comes from inside me, and that’s not something anyone can take away from me now.

Tinder is good for many things: It can cure your boredom, give you a quick confidence boost, and of course, help you nail down a casual sex partner by offering up endless profile photos to swipe.



But hookups aren't the only kind of connection Tinder can help you score. For a while now, we've been hearing about a long-term relationship and even marriages that began there, with users taking to the app to find a no-strings-attached fling but ending up with a soul-mate worthy significant other. Curious, we decided to find some of these couples and ask them to tell us their story. Below are 5 surprisingly romantic Tinder stories that prove love can start with a right swipe.

We made plans to get together again, and then again...

“I met my boyfriend, Liam, while we were both students. He was in his fifth year of a six-year program and I was a senior undergraduate. Neither of us was on Tinder to meet anyone serious; we were both just looking for a one-time fling. I ended up matching with him and we texted a little. I was worried he was going to be a jerk because he had two shirtless pictures up on his profile, but I decided to give him a chance.

Our first meeting was a bit of a disaster. I showed up 40 minutes late, and then I realized why he looked so familiar…he was the RA that wrote me up when I was a sophomore! But we continued to see each other for the three weeks before I graduated. We parted ways by agreeing if I was ever back in our college town, we'd get together. I actually found myself there two weeks later and seeing him, and then I invited him to my house four hours away for my graduation party. To my surprise, he actually showed up. We made plans to see each other again, and then again, and now we’ve been together as a couple for over two years.”  —Gabrie, 24

Two months after we met, he asked me to move in with him

“Jeff and I met on Tinder in May 2015. I was travelling from North Carolina to Rome with some girlfriends for vacation and had a 10-hour layover in New York City. I had plenty of spare time in the airport…which I spent swiping. Jeff and I matched and he messaged me. We only spoke for about five minutes and then I hopped on my plane.

A month later back in North Carolina, I received a random message from Jeff asking me if I wanted to visit New York City. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I said yes—after doing some Google stalking to make sure he wasn’t a felon. A few weeks after that first swipe, we had a crazy connection and an amazing weekend in the city. We instantly started actually dating, and about two months later, Jeff asked if I wanted to move in with him. Months turned into years, and we are now married and have a beautiful pitbull pup named Stallone. Although the start of our relationship was unconventional and a bit impulsive, we wouldn’t change a thing about our story.”    —Savannah, 28

“Six months after we initially swiped, we made it official”

“K and I started messaging immediately after we matched on Tinder. We met up three days later for tea, then went for a walk in the woods…which turned into a marathon eight-hour date the next day.

We were both looking for more than a hookup but less than a relationship. At first, it was easy to keep casual; there were only a couple weeks left in the school year and we were spending our summers apart. But we kept chatting all summer and continued hooking up at the beginning of the new school year. It slowly became apparent that we were getting closer and closer. About six months after we initially swiped, we decided to make it official. I never thought I would meet someone serious on Tinder, and I know this will be a relationship that in some capacity will last the rest of our lives.”    —Madeline, 22

“We’re paying the deposit on our wedding venue this weekend”

“Lindsey and I matched more than three years ago. We fumbled through an awkward Tinder conversation before setting up a coffee date at Starbucks. We sat in Starbucks for hours, then got dinner together. We went for burgers and texted our friends that we didn’t get murdered on our Tinder date. We’ve been together since that day.

From that day one we spent every day together. We snapchatted constantly. We texted 24/7. Truthfully, I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and wasn’t looking for a partner. But rather than a quick hookup, we ended up in a loving, healthy, safe, goofy relationship. We got engaged on our second anniversary in a tent set up in our living room after designing our rings together. We’re even paying the deposit on our wedding venue this weekend. Consider this a warning to anyone on Tinder: be careful, you might end up in a really cute relationship that you don’t see coming.”
—Kye, 25

“She was never supposed to be more than a one-night stand”

“On my second day in New York, I downloaded Tinder for the hell of it. I eagerly right-swiped the person whose profile came up on screen. There was something about her that just did it for me: She was older, tattooed, well-muscled, and truthfully, my body responded to her photos (which were all fully well-dressed).

She messaged me, which started a month-long flirtation over iMessage and text. But we never tried to see each other until she broke the news that she'd already planned to move across the country to California. Against our better judgment, we decided to meet and test out whether we were as compatible as our sexts and texts would have has believe. After two hours exploring downtown Manhattan, followed by two hours of just kissing against the front door of my apartment, and then eight hours of romping upstairs, I knew we were screwed.

She was never supposed to be more than a one-night stand, then she was never supposed to be more than a one-week fling. When I visited her in California six weeks later, she was supposed to be something I finally got out of my system. It’s now been over a year, and she still pulses pleasure and love through my body.”   —Anonymous, 24

Four-time Olympic champion Simone Biles has said she was sexually abused by Team USA's former gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar.

Nassar is serving 60 years in prison for having child sex abuse images on his computer and is awaiting sentence after admitting assaulting female gymnasts.



Biles, who won team, all-around, vault and floor exercise gold medals at Rio 2016, has said she was also abused by Nassar.

The 20-year-old Biles posted a statement on Twitter that read: "Most of you know me as a happy, giggly, and energetic girl. But lately... I've felt a bit broken and the more I try to shut off the voice in my head the louder it screams.


"I am not afraid to tell my story anymore. I too am one of the many survivors that was sexually abused by Larry Nassar."

Three former US Olympians have accused Nassar of sexual abuse, including Gabby Douglas, Aly Raisman and McKayla Maroney.

Feelings... 💭 #MeToo pic.twitter.com/ICiu0FCa0n

— Simone Biles (@Simone_Biles) January 15, 2018

Biles continued: "It is not normal to receive any type of treatment from a trusted team physician and refer to it horrifyingly as the 'special' treatment. This behavior is completely unacceptable, disgusting, and abusive, especially from someone whom I was TOLD to trust.

"For too long I've asked myself, 'Was I too naive? Was it my fault?' I now know the answer to those questions. No. No, it was not my fault. No, I will not and should not carry the guilt that belongs to Larry Nassar, the USAG, and others.

"It is impossibly difficult to relive these experiences and it breaks my heart even more to think that as I work towards my dream of competing in Tokyo 2020, I will have to continually return to the same training facility where I was abused."

The 54-year-old Nassar was involved with America's world-beating gymnastics programme from the 1980s until July 2015, when the sport's national governing body sacked him.

If you’ve managed to escape any mentions in your news feed of the “flesh-eating” sexually transmitted disease recently reported in England, well, we’re sorry for bringing it up. But the horrifying headlines seem to be everywhere: As first reported by the Liverpool Echo, an unidentified woman in Southport, UK, was diagnosed in the last 12 months with donovanosis—a sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can cause genital ulcers and, if not treated, can literally cause tissue to rot away.

Donovanosis is extremely rare in both the United Kingdom and the United States, but its description is graphic enough to both captivate and terrify us, nonetheless. To learn more about donovanosis—and how freaked out we should really be—Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, MPH, chair of the division of infectious diseases at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Here’s what she thinks are the important facts behind the viral story.

What is donovanosis, and how common is it?

Also called granuloma inguinale, donovanosis is a bacterial infection that’s transmitted through vaginal or anal intercourse, or, rarely, through oral sex. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the infection is common in tropical and developing parts of the world, including India, Guyana, New Guinea, Central Australia, and Southern Africa.

It’s much, much less common in developed countries. In the United States, only about 100 cases are reported every year, most or all of which are acquired abroad. “Even among STD experts, I would wager to say that most doctors in the United States have not seen a case of this,” says Dr. Marrazzo. (She has, once, in a Caribbean native who’d recently relocated to the United States.)

The case in the news this week was reported as part of a survey of UK hospitals conducted by the online pharmacist Chemist 4 U. Some news outlets have reported that there have “been no prior cases” of donovanosis in the UK, and that this disease had been identified there “for the first time.”

But the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (BASHH) told Health via email that there’s no basis to those statements. According to Public Health England, donovanosis is found in the UK, although it's “rarely diagnosed and reported.”

Is it really flesh-eating?

Medical descriptions of donovanosis often refer to ulcers or raised bumps that form one to 12 weeks after exposure. “It’s known for causing these really nasty-looking ulcers—they look like raw meat, beefy and really red, and they have a lot of blood supply so they bleed easily,” says Dr. Marrazzo.

“If they’re left untreated, they really can cause destruction of the tissue around them, which is why people say it’s ‘flesh-eating’ or that it causes skin to ‘rot away,’” Dr. Marrazzo adds. In advanced cases, according to the CDC, the ulcers can spread to the groin, lower abdomen, and upper thighs, and can develop secondary infections of their own.

However, Dr. Marrazzo adds, that shouldn’t happen with a timely diagnosis and proper treatment. When caught early, antibiotics can clear a donovanosis infection. It can sometimes reappear, however, and the sores can sometimes cause scarring or long-term damage.

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So, should you worry?

If you’re not traveling to and having unprotected sex in countries where this disease is prevalent, the chances you’d be exposed to it are extremely slim, says Dr. Marrazzo. But that doesn’t mean this can’t serve as a reminder to practice safer sex with casual partners: Use a condom or another barrier method (for all forms of sexual contact, not just intercourse), and avoid contact with open wounds.

If you do notice strange ulcers or sores on your genitals, get them checked out right away. “Odds are, if you have something that is giving you this kind of complaint, it’s probably something much more common like syphilis or herpes,” says Dr. Marrazzo. (Regardless of the cause, you’ll need prompt treatment to keep it from getting worse.)

In fact, rates of syphilis have been soaring in the U.S. and the UK. “If there is a big public-health message here, it’s that we’ve seen a huge resurgence of syphilis,” says Dr. Marrazzo. “That’s definitely one thing we really should be looking out for.”